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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in iamjesseduh's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, February 3rd, 2008
6:04 pm
sitting in bed too much
So I took my massage boards the other week.
They were super easy. I'm glad I didn't waste a lot of time studying. That woulda sucked.

Now I can be a registered something. Yay!

I finally got dispatched to do a training install down in NC. That was a trip. There was a walmart down there that had a 24 hour funnel cakes and corn dog stand in the parking lot. I didn't go there myself - I just heard tell from the guy I was working with. Apparently it is a sign of good breeding down there to stop for a corn dog on your way into walmart at 6 in the morning.

In other news, I am going to visit Rochester again next week! O, yay!; to the joy of visiting my two friends that actually still live there :)

In closing I have been spending way too much time sitting up in bed on the computer and my butt is sore. I'ma go shift cheeks now.

Current Mood: blank
Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008
12:37 pm
What Do You Have To Say? - When I Grow Up...
What do you want to be when you "grow up?"

a kid
Monday, January 21st, 2008
11:31 am
What Do You Have To Say? - Work It
How do you make a living?
i sit at home and collect salary when my employer doesn't have anything for me to do - so for the past two weeks i've been paid for sleeping half the day and spending the other half online and cutting my toenails
11:16 am
rocha cha!
i am going to rochester tomorrow. there will be food and drink and all manner of timely events. i have my board exams on thursday in syracuse to prepare for. that will be a real soul sucker. perhaps it will be a good thing.

also, i hear that i will be starting to get dispatched regularly next week. i will never be home. life will consist of me traveling from place to place and drooling on myself in stupor as i watch capitalism slowly envelope every pore of my being. cool.

lastly for today, i must do laundry and clean the garage. weeee!

Current Mood: capitalism envelops every pore
Sunday, January 20th, 2008
12:18 pm
What Do You Have To Say? - The Last Time I Sang... was last night. i was cooking green broccoli
When was the last time you sang?

i sang gren broccoli, green green broccoli in an enthusiastic tone.
Saturday, January 19th, 2008
11:53 pm
twice in over 80 weeks! I'm on a roll!
So, I've gotten ubuntu installed on my macbook. yeah! welcome the wonderful world of completely free software and taking part in a global community of developers and -- oh, i've got to learn unix commands... okay! so I learned how to browse directories through the terminal, delete files (scary!) and even display a calendar in both regular and julian years!!! umm, that's what i should be proud to tell people about, right? i'll just figure yes.
also, I haven't been off the computer in over a week, and I'm starting to get little key-shaped calluses on my fingertips.
The new job still hasn't dispatched me anywhere - so I've been spending my time mostly hibernating and eating a lot. It's great knowing that I can get paid to sleep half the day and then get up, have pancakes, and stare at a computer screen for 16 hours. very comforting. i did go for a walk down to the lake today! it was one of the high points. But soon I will not have any time to do these things, so I am glutting it up for now.

Current Mood: accomplished
Thursday, January 17th, 2008
12:42 pm
81 week hiatus?
I apparently haven't logged in to LJ for 81 weeks. Here's a quick recap of everything that's happened in that time:

Met Heather
Heather Moved to Erie
I quit India House
Started doing website for Abundance
Enrolled in Massage Therapy school
got MacBook
built my website
Graduated massage therapy school
Worked at horse farm, built website for horse farm
moved to Erie
Found good job
started Heather website officially
tried to install ubuntu on my macbook for 36 hours straight, slept for 12 hours, woke and began again, succeeded, still haven't been able to find all drivers, backing up whole system to try more dangerous approach requiring open flames and such.

that about covers the past 81 weeks. stay tuned for more exciting developments.

Current Mood: chipper
Sunday, June 25th, 2006
12:45 pm
Oh, I'm still here!
So, the India House Veg. Cafe is closing next weekend in all finality.

Take a moment to let it sink in. I haven't quite...

I got another part time at minimum wage at The Little Theatre to fill in some of the gap India House has left. That means lots of free movies and popcorn. And Rich Suburbians!

Also, Some other cool shit definitely happened.
I found the most awesome thing ever in the trash. A gas scooter that works! Its loud and stinky.

I ate a lot of good food at Flavors of Asia. Around once a week.

Made some Awesome Kheer!

And Many More!!!

Happy Summer if it do ya!
Sunday, May 14th, 2006
9:30 pm
Now what?
The Co-op just did layoffs. We're thousands of dollars in debt because of a crazy budgeting scandal...hu
I smell burning plastic.
I cut a huge callous off my foot the other day. It was nice.
I haven't found a third job yet.

I saw a great movie yesterday; 'Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter ...and Spring'. It's about the major life experiences of a Buddhist monk living in a floating monastery on a lake. There's all these doors in places without walls, and other great visuals.

Happy Mother's day!
Thursday, May 11th, 2006
8:50 pm
I'm reinvestigating an abandoned internal conflict which I've ignored both actively and passively for the past 6 years.
The fact that I am attracted to both sexes has always been apparent to me - just at different intensities and through different veils of realization during different times of my life.
When I 'came out' - about eight years ago now - I simultaneously felt a wonderful release of denied emotion weighed with a new sense of outcast-edness from the social worlds I moved through.
I found that whereas I discovered a new level of honesty with myself I also encountered many new restrictions and limitations in my socialization with others.

This, I now realize was a certain level of unacceptance from both the hetero and homo community that I was part of at the time. In many ways the levels of biphobia I came into contact with were so subtle that I couldn't pick out the nuances in people's attitudes and viewpoints with which I disagreed.
Of course the results of this on my self esteem were completely dependent upon my own acceptance of other's views in contrast to my own. I taught myself again to veil the potency of my desires so that others would not see them. In 'queer' company I hid my attraction to women, and vice versa. In order for this to work, I had to enact a near total refutation of my self. Ugh...

I have now come to a place where I feel secure in my own self image and beliefs.
So I am free within my own limitations, whatever they may be.

Now, to deal with everyone else's limitations.
4:53 pm
??? ??? ???
I just saw this in another user's journal:

May 9: Judge Timothy McGinty forcibly incarcerated Carol Fisher in the psych unit of the Cuyahoga County Jail in downtown Cleveland , where she now sits for an indefinite period of time.

In a hastily called hearing yesterday, Judge McGinty made a highly unusual and outrageous decision to force Carol to undergo a state psychological exam as part of her pre-sentencing investigation. From the very start of Carol's case, the judge has openly said that she must have mental problems for resisting an unlawful and brutal encounter with Cleveland Heights police. He went even further in yesterday's hearing, saying that her opposition to the Bush regime makes her "delusional."The small courtroom on the 21st floor of the Justice Center was ringed with 5 armed court bailiffs. McGinty started off the hearing by making Carol stand up and had one of her attorneys read her t-shirt, which said:

"Wanted for Illegally Crossing Borders: The Bush Regime

"If you are going to insist that crossing borders illegally is a crime which cannot be tolerated, how about George Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Condoleezza Rice (and yes, Colin Powell) and the rest of that gang, with their highly illegal, and violent, 'crossing of the border'-into Iraq, among other places?!"

McGinty then said this was proof of her delusion! He also kept saying Carol "wants" to go to jail, and that she has a "martyr complex." When Carol tried to explain why she wouldn't take this test, the judge's only response was, "I do not negotiate with felons."

Does Carol really want to go to jail? No! But she is not willing to comply with a vindictive court ordered test to "prove" her sanity. And more than that, she is taking a stand for everyone who is angry and fearful of a government that, under the rubric of "national security and the war on terror," willfully and unapologetically tramples on the most basic rights of privacy. Think about this in light of the NSA spying scandal, and now Bush wants to install the head of the notorious NSA to be CIA chief! As Carol said before she went to jail, "I'd be crazy to go along with this shit! That which you will not resist and mobilize to stop, you will learn--or be forced--to accept."

Just look at this whole case: a woman posts a "Bush Step Down" poster on a telephone pole, being brutalized by the police in the process, and now not only faces 3 years in prison but also a mandatory psych exam. As Terry Gilbert, one of Carol's attorneys said, "This is Gulag stuff--saying that people who are dissidents are crazy." He further added that in his 33 years of practicing law, he has never seen anything like this.

Is this the kind of country you want to live in?

On the phone this morning, Carol Fisher stated that, in addition to sending her to the psych unit, McGinty has also put her on "suicide watch"! They have taken away her eyeglasses. And if she refuses the psych exam, she will be forcibly sent to North Coast Mental Institute for a 20 day evaluation.

Legal challenges are continuing, including seeking a writ of habeas corpus.

When the transcripts are available to the public, they will show how outrageous this hearing was.

(Click here for previous news and more information about Carol Fishers arrest and trial)


Donate to Carol's legal defense. It costs a lot of money to get transcripts, file appeals, etc. Make checks payable to “Carol Fisher Defense Fund” and mail to “NION/WCW PO Box 609034 Cleveland, OH 44109.
Call Judge Timothy McGinty and express your outrage: 216-443-8758
Join us at a "Speak Out!" for Carol Fisher - Saturday, May 13 at 7pm at the corner of Coventry and Euclid Heights Blvd in Cleveland Heights .
Get your legal organization to be part of Carol's defense: make statements, file friend of the court briefs, etc.
Have your church group, school group, organization or club join this battle by sending statements of support, donating funds, etc.
Request radio stations play any of the following songs, dedicate it to Carol Fisher and explain what is going on with her case:
Tom Petty’s “Won’t Back Down”
Pearl Jam’s “World Wide Suicide”
Pink’s “Dear Mr President”
Neil Young’s “Let’s Impeach the President”
Write letters to the editor of:
The Cleveland Plain Dealer. Go to website: www.cleveland.com/plaindealer/lettertoeditor
The Cleveland Free Times. Email: editor@freetimes.com
The Sun Press. Email: sun@sunnews.com
Send this article to your list serves and post to blogs.
Join the World Can't Wait- Drive Out the Bush Regime!
Contact: World Cant Wait, Cleveland 216-633-6200
PO Box 609034 Cleveland OH 44109

World Can't Wait


305 W. Broadway #185
New York, NY 10013
Local chapters

Donate now

To subscribe or unsubscribe, visit http://www.worldcantwait.net/ and use the form in the top right of the page.
Saturday, May 6th, 2006
9:01 pm
I just applied for a job at the coffeehouse near where I live. So, since I'm already working about 50 hours a week, I might consider leaving India House. It would be nice to.
I suppose I'm avoiding some type of internal conflict by trying to keep myself at work so much. That's what workaholicicism ...is about? Umm... I feel like changing the subject.
So, most everyone I feel like I have gotten to know and be comfortable with have moved away from rochester in the past six months. That's a drag.
But, it's also an impetus to work a fuckload of hours and save some money towards getting myself out of here too.
Cause that's the good thing to do, right?

I watched Billy Elliot last night and cried. The part where he got into the school. I feel like there was something that I could have done when I was younger to have gotten myself into a better place by now. But, I didn't like dancing back then, I don't think. I do now, I think.

So I run. That's nice. It's better than not, for me.
I found out that I've been eating way too much protein. And not drinking enough water. The two variables don't have great consequences during and after anaerobic activity. Kind of feels like I got beat up by some gorillas. Or skinheads. Skinhead gorillas with books.
That's the best sentence I ever wrote.
Thursday, April 20th, 2006
7:42 pm
Sometimes 'irony' is too subtle a term...
today RG+E brought into the co-op a promotional package for their wind energy initiative. It consisted of a plastic standup ad and 100 battery powered handheld fans.

They are using battery powered gimmicks to promote renewable resources... and the fans were made in china...
What marketing genius thought this up?
Who is the target audience;
Eco/Enviro conscious people who are persuaded by little battery powered plastic toys made in china????

Saturday, April 15th, 2006
7:57 pm
is hoss some type of twangy gibber for horse?
Monday, April 10th, 2006
2:56 pm
Okay, it's not going to be so bad as i thought. I'm only on the co-op schedule about 15-25 hrs a week over the next two three weeks until I can let go of more shifts at the india house. I'm going to have this entire weekend off!

Me and Jesus can work on our grammar. Right after passover.

I get to make a vegan Kugal for sedar thursday. I'm psyched.

Thursday, April 6th, 2006
7:13 pm
new job
Got the position at the co-op. Front end supervisor. The pay's not so good as I was hoping, but I'm still psyched to be there. Now I just need to decrease my hours at India House. I'll be working 60-70 hours a week until I can drop some shifts there. At least I'll be able to pay for all the taxes I haven't filed in the last three years...
Thursday, March 30th, 2006
8:55 pm
Oh today...
I sat watching the sun set over the expressway. I could see planes taking off from the airport disappearing into the western sky. I'm considering leaving rochester as soon as I can get a few hundred dollars together.
12:52 pm
now the fourth...
So, I am changing my application from clerk to front end supervisor. So, this will be my fourth attempt at getting a job at the Co-op. How badly do I really want to work there? There's got to be other places I can work and feel that I am doing something good in the community and environment I'm in... Right?

The lady seemed like maybe she was bothered by my persistence. I probably won't get the job because of that. I wonder if they only want people that don't really care about where they work? How much can you tell about a person's work ethic from talking to them asking questions like: "Give me a bullshit answer to this question.", or "What if I tell you some bullshit?".

I'm torn. I don't know what they are really looking for in an interview. Of course they want to find someone intelligent who will work dilligently... blah, blah bla. But I don't know how to prove to them that I am that person without working for them.

If they rely only on pretense for all their conclusions, I don't want a job there.
But I do...

Tuesday, March 28th, 2006
9:55 pm
I applied for a job at the Co-op for the third time in my life this week.
The first time was in 2001. That was for a clerks' postion.
The second time was for a position as a buyer for the produce department. The job ended up going to someone with 'more experience'.
This time I broke down and went for the clerks' position again after the lady at the produce department gave my application to the manager there.
At the interview this morning, I asked if it was taboo to inquire about the pay. $7.25 and up considering 'experience'...
At the point where she asked why I want to work at the Co-Op, I froze and completely forgot the most important reason why I'm willing to take another clerking job in the first place; to supplement my income while feeling that I am at least somewhat less responsible for the support of multi-evil industry.

The other thing that's happening, I guess, is spring. It's been beautiful outside the past couple days. True, there will be an ice storm across the entire hemisphere next week, but fuck it.
Sunday, March 19th, 2006
2:29 pm
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